When I was in my middle teen years I met this guy. The story can be told for hours and I could probably write a short book about it. But this guy ''owned me''. He locked me in this mental prison and would challenge my intelligence. As the months went on, he became worse and this mental abuse started to grow into something else. I managed to get out in time. His ex contacted me shortly after, told me she was sorry she didnt say anything before but she was scared and felt bad. She ended up with him again and I wont go into the details of what happened after that.
I met someone else, someone more healthy, that allowed me to grow and start to feel better about myself. By that time, a friend of mine was in very bad relationship. I saw myself in her, and I could see the potential future... I tried talking to her, I called helplines to get advice, but they only said '' she is her own person, you are not allowed to take her away from there against her will. Thats kidnapping'' I felt totally helpless.
When we would meet she would pretend, just like I did, that everything was okay. ''Its fine, Im happy''
Even though we both knew, it wasn't fine.
She also managed to get out. But in a worse condition than what I was in back then. I dont want to take credit, but it feels like I hopefully was a help in that transition.
There are so many women AND MEN out there, stuck in these toxic relationships that eats you up inside. Even if you get out of it you are still damaged. You still have a long journey to go before you can start to feel better. You go through stages and you NEED someone to talk to, to help you. Its okey to accept and ask for help. Its ALWAYS a ''bad time'' to end relationships, there will ''always'' be a reason not to leave them. Just do it. Dont accept yourself in a environment where YOU are being abused, one way or the other.
We talk too little about this. If more people would open up, maybe there would be less pain in this world?
If you recognize yourself in this post, if you feel that you need to vent. You are always welcome at Modog. Maria@modogart.com feel free to share your story in private with us, or publicly here.
You are awesome!